The Interview That Never Happened: THREE

Hello people! Sorry for the blog that I missed last week. I have been away since a few days. And, probably this may continue for sometime now because I have several things to work on. I may sound a bit insensitive but I am sorry; I don't have good internet connectivity. And I am a bit tied up. Apologies. Yet, I got to write something for everyone today.

This week Sachin announced his retirement. End of an era, I must say for Sachin means Cricket. That is his stature. We must respect his decision though. Also, I am happy for the exposure of Asaram and his son. Its not vague to say that they have committed graver crimes than that which have come to light. Incidents like these weaken faith. And India is a country of faith.

Anyways, the festive season has begun. What a relief! Haha! The thing is I like festival for the food. More or more. I have always been a lover of great food. Lets see what delicacies do I eat this season.

Something that I have seen recently is the rise and flourish of Smartphones. I must tell you something: Not only do I hate smartphones but also I can't afford them. This might be a miscuing statement but I must clarify that I don't hate Smartphones because of the price. I hate smartphones because of the distractions that it comprises. I have always seen the mobile phone as a medium of vocal communication. Nothing else.

So, enjoy this season. Win over evil. Your inner ones. Before that identify them. It will be a big thing. Bye for now. See you soon.

Subho Vijoyadoshomi.

The Interview That Never Happened : TWO

Hello! Today is Friday and you get to read yet another blog from me. In case you are new, I make a new post every Friday. So how was the week, guys and gals? Nothing special? If there was anything worth telling, do write it in the comments section.

So, the last Friday, I was at the Junction Mall in Durgapur, watching the Finale of the Jam 3.0, a rock band competition, where an amazing band that should have won, won. Anyways, the judge and guest band for the night, Lakhhichara, performed at the end.

I don't have anything against their music, if at all it is theirs. I say this because they blatantly copied Riffs from AC-DC (two of the four songs I saw) and that was beyond giving them further of my time. Shit. Of course, I hate them now and will not see their show in the future. This is my opinion. But I know no music, nor any song.

 However, I saw "The Conjuring". It was a good horror movie, one of the best, certainly. It doesn't thrill you with cheap tricks. What it does is it creates an air of darkness around you with a hint of gloom. I would recommend that you see it.

Also, I learnt that Comedy Night's set caught a major fire. I feel sad for Kapil. He has definitely brought the Indian Middle Class Family together in front of the television. Without any trace of embarrassment, that the other shows or ads cause. You know what I mean.

Today, many of my friends are appearing for the Indian Navy Campus Drive at my college campus. I wish that they get through. I knew I won't be the right person for the job. So, chuck it. There are other ways to serve your country, if at all. 

I find myself as a misfit in the software field. But, this is what I wanted to do from my childhood. Develop Hi-tech prostheses. Do experiments that no one could think of. Develop interactive multimedia related products. Etcetra. Now, that I have been studying Computer Science for three and a half years at college, I realized that most of the guys who have such dreams do nothing but data entry, PowerPoint presentations and Copying and Pasting codes.

Whatever, I would have been more of a misfit if I had pursued other branches of Engineering because I suck at Physics. Since the old stone age. So I chose a bruise instead of a wound, whatever that means. 

Over the years, I have learned a few very basic things. One of them is to sell anything, anything that is, you need to have a good packaging. My friends will agree that the books that they receive at giveaways are best given away.

There has been an exponential rise in the number of people who are trying to be different, so different that I consider myself too mainstream. A day will come when being mainstream will be the new different. I will wait for the day. Bye for now.

The Interview that never happened : ONE

Follow this blog every FRIDAY.

Here is a little something. I have spoken at several interviews. Like reading from a teleprompter. That doesn't help. I will tell you why: Because that is not the truth. The responses during an interview, I feel, are temporary beliefs that evaporate in no time. Therefore, I have decided that I will answer all the questions that my readers ask me, and the things that they want to know with utmost sincerity and honesty. Will that do? That should, perhaps. Not only that I will also share some of my writings here. Basically I will write a blog every Friday from now on. I will try to.

     

     I may not be the Best. But, I am certainly not like the Rest.

That was on my last birthday. Damn!

Before I begin. Let me tell you: this may be boring to you. I am going to share some things that matter to me. Or concern me as a person. Or an artist. I don't bother about cynical people. And the things they have to say. This, my friend, is my blog. And I will use it only for myself. Enough of warnings.

At twenty years, when my friends are badly wanting to settle down with a lucrative career in software, I am trying to do what I want to. That doesn't mean that I don't want a job. I want a job. Firsthand. This is India. Here, dreams come at a price. Well, I never wanted to study Engineering. Everyone says that. I don't know what I wanted at that particular time. As a matter of fact, I didn't want to study anything at all. Haha.

I still don't know. That's the truth. I am a very complicated person and I have been trying to figure out who or what I am.

What is the reason for starting this series of blogs? Simple. I am basically occupied with a lot of work and I don't play computer games. I need to get myself refreshed. I do what I am good at - writing. Playing Guitar. And several other things.

Well I find interest in too many things. That's my strength. And weakness. Strength: because I seldom get bored; even when alone. Weakness: because I don't have many friends in life. Long term friends, that is. Basically, I am an introvert. I don't talk to strangers. I am not comfortable with a crowd of people. I am not comfortable with liars. I am not able to make choice when it comes to people. Too many problems, I have.

That was a brief intro. You will come to know more about me in the following posts. Now, let me answer some basic questions that I am asked.

Q: Why did you write "Those Days..."?

A: I really don't know. I read a few pages of a really badly written book. I thought I could write better than that. I did. Also, I had written the book about three and a half years back, I think. I was very bored after my Intermediate exams and my friends had told me a lot of things about the place I was in. I thought that could make a novel. And it did.

Q: Is it your story?

A: Come on. NO. It is not mine. Basically, I like to tell stories across to people. My stories sell in the form of books. To tell my story will be to sell myself, which is very derogatory. I do not have any disrespect for others who are writing their books on their own life. But I don't want to write a book about myself as a fictional character. Do you get it? If ever I write my story, it will be an autobiography.

Q: Why do we choose you over other authors?

A: First, don't choose me over other authors. I don't compare myself to any author/person. I don't claim to be a literary bug. I don't know much of Literature. I want to learn, though. You can buy my books if you want to. There is no obligation, or force. Second, I try to write from a certain Point of View that you will be, I believe, able to relate yourself to. Third, You will enjoy my book. Probably.

Enough for today. I would like to thank Myself for the time. Meet you next Friday with the next edition of "The Interview that never happened."

Till then read my book. Haha.

You can also drop me your questions in my Inbox or the Comment section of this blog.

It broke my heart

Some love stories are great. Some are not so great. Like the ones we see blooming at a local park, or restaurant. Yet, they have their own charm. I love hearing these stories. From real people, of course. So, I was on the bus the other evening and it was fairly empty. I noticed a young boy, probably on the greener side of his twenties, sitting at the last seat and engrossed in texting someone. 

I went and sat beside him. You must know at this point of time, that I am a very curious person. I tried to peek into his giant mobile touch screen. A chatting app showed he was online and was chatting to someone whom he had already sent some dozens of e-kisses. Wet ones, he wrote, describing them.

He looked up from his screen and and noticed me staring at it. I flashed an awkward caught-in-the-act smile.

"You are in love, it seems." I uttered. Like a dork.

"Yes. And it is indeed, magical." He smiled and blushed. I smiled too. He went into flashback.

"I met Tara at a local restaurant. We had come with our respective friends and got along somehow; and thank god for that! I just love this feeling you know - being in love."

I had to nod and smile meekly. You wouldn't like to get beaten up in a lonely bus.

I imagined Tara. And the boy, Vilaas. Although, Tara, in my imagination was far hotter than Vilaas, I must confess.

He further told me, "You know how careless I am with these cute little habits. I generally don't, rather, can't remember dates. Tara always does remember everything - our first kiss, our first fight, our first date, our first anniversary. Everything about us." He smiled and his face beamed with joy.

Obviously, a girl is too good as far as remembering dates are concerned. I thought. However, I smiled and nodded to appreciate Tara.

His phone rang suddenly and he talked aside, whispering sweet nothings punctuated with kisses over the phone and lots of mushy "Baby, Darling, Sweetie" stuff.

In the mean time, the bus stopped at the last stop. I got down. Vilaas followed me. Vilaas moved ahead. I followed. From nowhere, a guy appeared, held him from behind and kissed him.

I was shocked. The hero was gay. And happy.

IT BROKE MY HEART.

I decided I would not let Tara, who by now was a heroine for me, to suffer at the hands of a gay. I confronted Vilaas directly and hit a hard punch. Vilaas and his boyfriend were equally shocked.

"How can you do this to Tara? What will she feel if she gets to know that you, of all people, are...gay?" I shook my head angrily as I spoke.

His boyfriend nodded his head too, probably with shame. Or disgust.

Then he forwarded his hand to me, "Hi! I am Tara Singh."

The perfect murder - a love story

Amika wanted to kill her husband, Aarthik. Not because he didn't love her. Or he was not rich. Or he smoked. Or he drank. Or he didn't allow her to watch Saas ki Chaal, Bahu Behaal. He gifted her a diamond studded platinum ring on their semi- wedding anniversary. He was so mushy. He always gave her expensive gifts.

She had a personal reason. She discovered him lying to her on certain occasions. May be he was having a fling. She knew that was strange. Because they had a great sex life. But many of her friends warned her. On the other hand, the number of lies continued to increase. She was swayed and hence the decision.

She tried to poison him; She failed. She killed his car brakes, the car went out of fuel within few meters. Nothing worked out. Not a single thing. 

So, Amika decided to fall in love. With someone she knew. And he knew too. So that Amika could break his heart. And he could kill himself. He loved Amika. According to the plan she had to seduce one of his friends so that he would be hit - right there. She mentally organized a swayam-boyfriend for herself and chose his best friend Malay. Malay had two bonus points- he was a bachelor plus he never had a girlfriend. 

Things started off well for Malay and Amika. They got along well and Amika came to know about Malay's life till date. He had been a lonely soul and had ill- habits for which his dad had disowned him. Her husband Aarthik had supported him financially for his studies and new clothes. Poor Soul. Amika was already in love with him. One day Malay told her hesitatingly that Aarthik was indeed having an extra marital affair. That was it for Amika.

They hatched on a plan to kill her husband and live happily ever after. 

After seducing her husband to convince him for a trip to the Himalayas for trekking, Aarthik himself suggested that Malay should go with them. Bull's Eye. In three days time, they were in the most scarcely populated and least visited places on earth. As they had planned, when they reached a deadly dangerous curve on the road, just above a 300 meter deep trench, Amika signaled Malay to push Aarthik. Aarthik looked at Amika and smiled. It reminded her of beautiful times together. Malay looked at Amika and smiled. It assured her of beautiful times the future promised her. Finally, Malay looked at Aarthik and smiled. 

Out of the blue, Malay made a deep impact. With force that could be measured in Kilonewtons, Malay pushed. He pushed Amika. She fell and died.

Aarthik and Malay kissed each other.

Insignia: The story of its formation!

     Well, now that I have nothing better to do right now, I will like to tell you the story of rock. Rock as in rock music. Okay. So I had this distant dream of playing an instrument (rather, Guitar) since childhood. As luck would have it, I don't remember seeing a guitar live till I arrived in college. I come from a backward place. Lame excuse. Anyways, I bought a guitar and started to take lessons. Days went by and I saw a mercurial rise in the creation and domination of bands in my college. Well, the effect was colossal if you ask me. That was what I wanted. To be on the stage. To listen people cheer. To be crazy. To play in a band. For Music. Now there were blokes in my age who came up with bands and faltered. Rather un-deserving-ly so. I thought they could play well.  

    Anyways, new bands started emerging. Even the ones who could hardly hold guitars started showing off. And I was like, well, no comments. Two years flew by. While playing in a band was still a distant dream. My idea of a rock band was: a vocalist, a rhythm guitarist, a bassist/keyboardist, a lead guitarist and a drummer. I searched for others who could fill up the other 4 positions, since I was one of the guitarists.

     Enter a dumb guy. Lets say *****. He believed (I am sure he still does) that he is a very good vocalist, who cannot sing classical songs. Now he wanted to form a band, rather create a band. He would sing all songs and I had to play Lead. For rhythm he had appointed a junior guy called Deff. Now Deff and I developed good bonding over songs. (Which was good). Also, there was this guy Lord who could sing classical songs and has gone to some National level competition and was almost the winner. He was hired for backing vocals. There was a rapper too. No bassist. No drummer. As of then.

          After two days of jamming, I and Deff were comfortable. ***** couldn't be. Meanwhile I came across videos of ***** at several occasions, and people going nuts at him. When I asked a few of my friends about his singing, they told : Are you that desperate? They were not wrong. He sucked at singing. Point No 1.

       Moreover, he was bossy. He imposed his choice of songs. Made a track list and all that "My band-My band" stuff was in the air for him. Point No 2.

     I logged in to Facebook. And received a request to like a page featuring me, Deff, Lord and him on the cover image. I was like What the Hell! The band was already named without any discussions. ***** said he had hired a band manager and we would have to perform for him in lieu of money. Point No 3, 4, 5.

     Well 5 points is too much for me. For anyone, rather. Its that I had the courage. I called ***** and said: You suck at everything. I am not going to play for you. He warned me to reconsider my decision. And that life would be difficult for me. Bloody hell, music is for love. For entertainment. Not for revenge, hatred. I just quit.

The cover pic was edited and I was removed from it. (Sob.Sob)

     I told Deff: Bro, if you want to play for him then go ahead. But if you want you can play with me. Deff doesn't want to mess with seniors. Not that he is afraid, but that he doesn't like to. I don't know how he gathered some courage. After two hours Deff wasn't on the cover image. (YAY!!)

     Now, drummers are people who will be extinct in some days. There are more tigers than drummers these days. In such a situation getting a drummer was like Gold Medal for Indian Hockey. I heard there is a guy Cool, who is taking drum lessons. So I approached him. Today, he is the best drummer in the college. I can bet.

     Deff taught Cliff to play the bass and he picked up real fast. Lord, who was tentative of leaving ***** ultimately kicked himself out and joined us on vocals. And the cover pic was that of the self proclaimed King Of Voice alone as Lord joined us!

     And then Insignia rose out of ashes. Deff on rhythm, Lord on Vocals, Cool on drums, Cliff on bass and Me, well showing off! 

The next thing I remember is our first performance: massive crowd, songs and "once more cheer".

Insignia Rocks.

Munni's Story (Love)

              While Basanti’s love story with Viru was the more flamboyant and popular; no one noticed my love story. The untold saga of true love. Of sacrifice and Pain. People clapped and whistled when Basanti and Viru had romantic sequences. No one noticed the poignant and graceful love story of mine.

               I had lost my husband and family in the attack that Gabbar Singh made. They were treacherously murdered, keeping only one person alive in my whole family. The person who was left alive was of no use to me, as I was forced to do all the household works. Life for a widow in Ramgarh was very difficult. There were so many goons in the village.

                But as soon as I saw my love, when Gabbar Singh was in action, I had to fall for him. He was so handsome. But my family values won’t let my feelings to come out. So I had to remain quiet regarding this. During late nights, he used to check me out and mutely appreciate my beauty and figure. He didn’t speak much. His style of holding the gun when he fought bravely made me realise his manliness.

               He was the one whose voice would resonate once he said something to Gabbar in his manly tone. Now we are happy to live in a family. Though he is old now and keeps French beard, I still love him the same.

               It was after Gabbar’s death, I managed to marry Samba. Now, Basanti is proud to have a mausaji. Samba does all household works now and protects me from the lusty eyes of the villagers, even Thakur. I am Munni Mausi. And this is my true story.

Bindaas Bollywood

These are few lines. Try to recollect them from typical bollywood flicks.

1.”Main tumhare bacche ki maa banne waali hoon”

Yes, that’s the one dialogue you might have heard a thousand times. But still it’s one of the cheesiest and most celebrated lines in the history of cinematic romances. And now the girl doesn’t want to get the child aborted, in any case.

2.”Ye ek maa ka dil hai”

            Maa ka dil is something that can bring tears into everyone’s eyes. Beta chahe police me inspector ho ya roadchaap goonda. Maa will love her chand ka tukda the same way.

3.”Tum Mujhe Nahi Kharid Sakte”

            Yes! Its 100% true. You can’t bribe the new SP/ACP. He is the most honest officer that the police clan has ever seen. So his imaan is not that negotiable.

4.”Tum meri chinta mat karo, use maaro”

            Our hero is in a dilemma. On one end his loved one is dying, on the other the villain is escaping. What to do, and what not! A real fix.

5.”Kanoon Ke Haath Bahut Lambe Hote Hain”

            This you must have realised that no one escapes the hand of the law. Blind law to be precise. The do kaudi ka policewala often uses this dhamki.

6.”Kanoon ko apne haath me mat lo, ise humare hawale kar do”

            One of the fat, unworthy inspectors having a rusted, old gun in his hands somehow manages to save the culprit exactly when the hero is about to take the law in his hands by murdering him.

7.”Pata nahi kiske saath mooh kala karwa ke aayi hai”

            It simply hints at the cause that led to the statement number 1.

8.”Tum chahte kya ho?”

            The hero/his family member/lover asks to the villain with such stupidity that even puts our PM to shame.

9.”Humari bitiya rani toh laakho mein ek hai”

            We know that everyone is one out of the total population. What’s so fussy about the daughter that the oldest woman in the family has to scream out this line, when they are negotiating for her marriage.

10.”Agar tune maa ka dudh piya hai...”

            One of the most challenging lines used by the hero/villain for the other. Maa-ka-doodh remains the most nutritious drink. Ever.

These were the few I remember now. Hope you enjoyed reading.

Santa came that night

Note : The events mentioned in the story are true, with names changed to protect privacy.

Giselle believed in Santa Claus since she was a child. She pictured that she would, someday, fall in love with someone like Santa. Every Christmas morning she woke up excitedly to see if Santa had given her some gift or not. But, she was disappointed every single time. Nevertheless, her belief was staunch. She grew up to be a very beautiful girl. Beautiful doesn’t mean she looked like an actress, she was definitely above average. She had silky hairs; big, brown, mischievous eyes; a cute nose and a really tangy figure.

She fell in love with several guys, but all of them eventually broke her heart and left her. Still she kept on falling in love. After she lost faith in both love and Santa, she was married off on her parents wish to Micheal, one of the richest businessmen in town. Micheal was the kind of guy you would have tortured the most in school. Micheal never ever talked to any girl at the church or school; forget random ones. Now as you might have figured it out Micheal was the idiot-dumb-inexperienced guy to realize his wife’s ‘needs’.

He loved his wife for sure, but his way of expressing his love was too very dumb for Giselle. He occasionally took her for dinner at expensive five star restaurants; he took her to boring Jazz parties, bought her designer dress and did those not-so-cute but expensive things for her. However, he had never gathered enough courage in his marriage of six months to come romantically close to her. He just had kissed her on the cheeks once or twice.

Once when Giselle was out, he checked her personal diary. She had written about Santa. He decided that he would become Santa and surprise his wife on Christmas. He did not tell his wife about her diary. He knew his wife would give him his love.

On Christmas night when his wife was asleep, Micheal dressed himself as Santa. He looked cute. He moved  with a bag full of gifts, towards the bed his wife was sleeping. Slowly and steadily his heart pumped more blood into his arteries. He kept on moving towards her. Suddenly Giselle woke up with a start and screamed in happiness (or maybe fear). Her Santa fell on the floor. Dead.

To know what happened next:

You may watch C.I.D “two-hours-Christmas-special” on Sony at 9PM. Repeat at most times of the day.

Also, additional focus on this case by INDIA TV. Special One hour show with leading Psychiatrist and Police Commissioner of Noida region Live.

Its New Year time friends. Be happy! Spread smiles! :)

Sunny Days

            Today, I would like to share the inspiring true tale of my dearest friend Sunny. You all probably know Sunny by now. Sunny is a household name now. Sunny was born in Punjab, to a Punjabi father and grew up watching Bollywood films, eating sarso-da-saag and makki-di-roti. Like every other person in India, Amitabh Bachchan had always been Sunny’s inspiration. Sunny wanted to be a famous actor. Wanting to do roles that were closer to life was Sunny’s desire.

            Like any Punjabi, Kanedda, i.e. Canada was Sunny’s first love, Punjab being the zeroth. (if you understand what that actually means). When Sunny went to Canada, a realisation dawned. No career in acting can be made without a perfect body. Sunny trained with several different trainers to get a perfect body like that of now. The one like we see in Biology books. And, Sunny was good looking. Getting directors in Canada was not at all difficult.

            This very few people know that Sunny acted in many Canadian films and won much appreciation. Soon Sunny was in the list of top 10 actors in the genre. Being experimental, Sunny tried a genre that was specially meant and designed for the body that was acquired with much practise and training. People would sigh when Sunny would scream on the screen. When they would show Sunny crushing someone between the thighs, people would cheer and whistle. Believe me, the Canadians whistled in English. When Sunny moaned in pain, people sympathised. People clapped when Sunny tore the shirt away from a muscular body.

            Sunny earned the tag of a superstar from the first film itself. The acting being so realistic that it would stir the viewers, however, young or old he would be. Sunny’s dialogues were the most popular ones. Maybe Salman Khan at one time even envied Sunny. (Don’t tell anyone that Salman can’t act). Finally Sunny got a chance to act in India.

            Sunny couldn’t ask for a better debut.

            Since then Sunny Leone, an Indo-Canadian Pornstar has been the showstopper of some cheap Indian TV show, Big Boss and continues to inspire us.

P.S. Please search “Sunny Leone” on Google for better understanding of the person.

In love with you

So, don’t tell anyone, for this is a well kept secret between me and (few of) my 700+ FaceBook friends that when I am not doing anything, I have a business of creating Fake profiles for celebrities. Believe me, they are too busy to create a profile, so I do it for them and they buy it at nominal prices ranging from above 50 grands to 99 grands.

One fine day, some stranger SMSed on my cell “In love with this cricketer, so need a profile”. I got one profile ready for him/her. He/she told me to leave the sex column and profile picture unfilled; that increased me curiosity. I thought he/she was probably a HE, and was gay, and shy. However, my client paid me One Crore by cash on delivery. Due to utter curiosity, I started tracking the profile.

On the very first day, the Sex was mentioned Female, and the profile picture was a very attractive, glossy and juicy pair of lips.

Just for my knowledge I once asked my client who the cricketer was, he/she gave me the details. He was one of the Indian fast bowlers. Some Patel. Now experts said he had the bowling accuracy similar to that of Australian legend Glenn McGrath. I checked upon him. The experts were right. He was the future of fast bowling in India. My client paid me five lakhs for this secret.

Now he had created his profile a few days back, and it was not at all difficult to recognise it was his original profile because he had only a few friends and poor English. His info said his favourite singer was some Himesh. Anyways, now this bowler hadn’t been much into love and relationships and never dated a girl before.

He hadn’t in his wildest of dreams expected a friend request from someone who had a really hot pair of lips. He was hesitant at first but accepted the request. Chats began and continued. He skipped the training sessions and the media said he was suffering from injuries. However our bowler was falling in love with the diva. He would call her princess, Angel etc like age old lovers (I told you he had no experience). She insisted that he should call her ‘Darling’ instead because she found it hot and seductive.

In a few months he had so much fallen in love with her that he couldn’t help fantasising about her in the field. During the matches he would recall the chats and smile to himself. Even the camera caught him doing so. He had a poor performance during the Australian tour. He had never been a good fielder, so he continued his poor performance. And, finally got dropped.

But, he was happy. He was in love. Definitely.

They decided to meet at CCD in Juhu.

She told she would be wearing an off-shoulder top and even told what else she would be wearing. May be she was desperate to have him, or maybe she also had fallen in true love. He replied he would be meeting her.

I don’t know what happened after the date. My client never responded to me. Neither did the chats continued.

After a few days, I heard someone called “BOBBY DARLING” claimed having an affair with some Munaaf Patel in the media.

Anything Else?

              He believes “Everything is uncomfortable for the first time: School, Smoking or Sex”. Like any undecided, impatient and impulsive teenager, he has fun, friends, Facebook and an eventful life. His life follows Murphy’s law: Anything that can go wrong, goes wrong. His life is enviable because he is happy with his life, satisfied. His social circle is large enough to make his cell phone chime all the day.

            She is the simple-stupid-silly-romantic girl. The flamboyant diva. The girl who believes in him and loves him unconditionally.

            Meet Sashwat and Swadha, the hottest couple in the school.  Their story is one of the most entertaining High school love stories.

Welcome to his world full of booze, bikes, babes, tea stalls, accidents, street fights, first-day-first-show-movies and unconditional love. Witness him rediscover himself and his true love.

How does Sashwat's life take an ugly turn? Does he fall, collide or escape the accident? En route all events, Sashwat loses Swadha. For good. Does he get her back or a cruel end awaits them?

An excessively humorous joyride of small town hostel life, passionate, youthful teenage: success, failure, trials and unseen facets of the high school life. Take the ride. But always wear a helmet ;-)

         

Time to think!

We come across many innocent faces like these in our real life, the next to door, basic faces that do not lag behind in our thoughts. They walk by unnoticed. Their eyes do not brim with obvious childish spark like ours; their eyes search for someone....a somebody that means everthing to them. Maybe annadata (food-giver), dhanadata(wealth-giver) or pranadata(life-giver). So while our leaders are busy stocking more and more banknotes, and all are busy with themselves, do we have enough time for doing something to contribute to keep that hope alive and to bring them a little spark; maynot be like the bright sun, just a star like spark,maybe. Do I need to say more?

Time to think!
Big time!
Love.

Sociophilia:The Networking Fever

It is not our fault, It never was. We are addicted to relationships. Be it platonic,romantic,family-bound or anything else. We are social creatures. And its the age of Finger work. Everything except ego and jealousy is bringing us closer to people, I think. So are the social networking sites. We may forget what day it is, we never forget to check if we have any new notification. We may forget to greet our parents,we never forget to update good wishes four times a day.

No probs. That's possibly what we call network socialisation. Facebook, Twitter, Orkut, Fropper etc, few social networking sites that have assumed a pivotal place in the daily routine of younger generation. The wannabe big generation.Anyways, what the social network culture is doing, positively, is: it is reducing the gap. Bridging all possible rivers between long lost brothers. I assume many, like me,have found old schoolmates on social networking sites. Maybe you have developed good friendships with dozens of strangers. maybe you have found love-mates.

What the networking trend is encouraging is fraudism.Very few of us give their authentic details on these sites.Most of fraudulent activities take place on these sites. We hear how someone allured an innocent girl into marriage with seemingly dashing looks and NRI background. Or maybe some exceedingly charming tall and dark stranger becomes the darkest truth of your life.

They trick. They flirt. They play. They cheat. You loose.

On professional levels, defaming, rumours, brand value depletion and so on are common problems attributed to social networking.

Students are undoubtedly wasting their valuable time on networking sites. When I get bored in the classroom, the prof is boring,the neighbourhood girl is picking her nose, becomes my status and I await few comments. When i power on my Laptop, I sign in to check how many are online. I get bored in a train, I update my status. I have just proposed someone, I need to tell that to the world! I post numerous pictures of myself, eagerly awaiting for the comments.Its exams, I haven't studied a single thing and I am more interested to make others panic.

We need a cure, from this addiction.

Ten days to cure yourself:
1.Check all notifications and reply to them as if you don't care.
2.Remove all your photos with disgusting comments.
3.Try to utilise the free SMS of your cellphone.
4.Don't add unknown people,unfriend strangers.
5.However boring the lecture be, try to concentrate on attractive(!) neighbours.
6.Take a nap in the train.
7.Set ur online status always as "busy".
8.You have a bike, a bat, a badmintn raquet, a television, novels.....oops you have books too!
9.Set your status at "Bye", and deactivate the account.
10.Create a new account, I know my tips havent worked and you feel guilty.Wait for the administrator to remove the site.

By the way, just before dying, tell the people you are dead in few moments!

Are you a fresher?

I hated the Nagin tune.

I stood with much fear in my heart at the bus stop back from the first day at college.Heartbeat 90.The bus seemed to tease me.It was late than usual.I looked around to spot any "Hunter".None of them were visible,moreover i didn't recognise many.Heartbeat 80.Suddenly a voice "Hey first year".I turned to look at a short,fat and wheatish-skinned lad.Looked like someone who had been recently beaten by his dad for drinking vodka.Heartbeat 120.

I looked at him."Sir?!!!" i said with half fear and half anticipation of what impending danger may land.

"Waiting for the bus".Heartbeat 125.

"Ya.." i said. I couldn't say i was there for staring at Bengali girls(!).Thank god,i could sight the bus now. I tried to ignore the senior.

The bus would wait for three full minutes.

"OK go..." he said in an unexpectedly humble tone.All seniors aren't hunters,i thought to myself.

I went towards the bus,the heartbeat at 95.

"Hey first year.."he shouted from behind.

"Third button you rascal." I obeyed his order instantly.Later i learned he was a "professor".That's what we are supposed to call third years.The 4th years are Principals,by the way.

"Get on the bus with the nagin dance."

I was like What the fish.

I looked at the people on the bus and on the stop.As if all of them expecting a Live (!) performance.They looked with lusty eyes.

I thought for a second.Yaar,kaun sa apna chacha dekh raha hai.bindass kar,I thought.

And then.I started the Nagin dance into the bus.Few laughed,Few squeaked,Few rethought on their decision to send their wards to engineering colleges.I didn't care.I danced and danced till the bus started.My first live dance performance.At least I provided free amusement to many.Later I also did cabaret,Pole dance in the basketball court,Sang "Bolo e kaun fashion dikhawa taru ho,dhake wala cheez jhalkawa taru ho",proposed to an unknown senior,did the 90 salute etc etc....

Friends,ragging period may be testing,But it is enjoyable,if taken with the right attitude and frame of mind.

I agree ragging activities have a negative impact,but that depends on the case as it might be.Ragging acts are not to be taken to your self respect.Take a chill pill.Be yourself.Anyways,How many of us are afraid of ragging?All of us are,to some or more extent.Face the fear.

Its perfectly okay to sing or dance in front of few seniors,You aren't auditioning for Indian idol or Dance India Dance.And in most of the cases few will ask you to propose someone;Do it,with passion,who knows you might have a chance.

I have seen guys do stranger things...Boys were instructed to proclaim that they were gays!!!They did that.Its not going to interfere with your future life anyways.You are just out of school,just enjoy the new environment.Come closer to your seniors,not in other ways!!!

If you take it easy,ragging period will be the best.Its perfectly all right to bend a little.

Girls seem to be even more nervous.Most of the times they are told to wear simple dress and oil their hair,tie two plaits,I do not find anything humiliating in this.Its okay.Formal dress for boys,short cropped hair,eyes on third button.Its okay.Enjoyable!!!

Ragging may be treated as a necessary evil.Excess of everything is bad.So is excess of ragging.Fun for one can't become "Mental rape" for other.When they are over the top complain to the necessary authorities.

Some tips:
1.Don't be afraid.The senior that you are facing isn't the ugliest.There are more to come.
2.Try to be ragged by girls,they have an eye on junior boys!!
3.The Profs are of no help.Don't try them.Moreover,they face ragging all their life.
4.Don't agree on sexual ragging,also don't get addicted to drugs or other such things.
5.Buy a pair of formal clothes.It will help.
6.Help a gal in during these times.
7.Be confident,you can do a bit of ragging with seniors too.
8.Girls,don't shed tears now,save some for your marriage.
9.Learn the basics of bunking,and find ways to go to the nearest theatre,park,restaurant...
10.Propose your crush,if they say no,say "Senior ,you see."If they say yes, follow tip 9.

So enjoy the beginning of the best possible days in your lives.

By the way,I love the nagin tune now.Maybe, I will make you all dance to it in my marriage.

Match Fixed:Arrange my Love!!!

I assume that you have fallen,or will fall in love after reading my previous article,and you are kinda desperate to get your "one" in your life.So you want to marry him/her,probably in the nearest possible future.Now you look into the present Indian society and you see plenty of hurdles in your track,jump over them or take a short cut????

To elope is easy,to convince everyone is difficult.Human tendency:take it easy.Because the problems are too many:different caste,different religion,fussy relatives,earning is less,etc etc.So elope...

Why elope?Why stand against every one when you can stand with them?

When you fell in love with some one,you found them the best.So why do you hesitate to make your own family realise that the one you love is the best for you?That you can be merry with only that "one".That a known ass is better than an unknown horse.C'Mon.Think over it.

Have faith on yourself.That you can have everyone on board.For a moment think about your parents.They have brought you up with so many tribulations,giving you more than all you need,providing you with all small happiness,so why will they deny you of the biggest happiness for you???If they don't understand,make them understand.Tell them "we could have run away,but we didn't only because i am not wrong".Don't be afraid,to tell them of your love.Fear is when you are wrong.

You are an epitome of respect for your parents,preserve it with care.Do not let your acts let them down.

Take time.Wait for the right time.Be patient.Do not hurry.Most importantly don't impose your choice.Instead of informing them,ask them.It will take time.But before that make yourself worthy of convincing.Any parent wants that their child gets the best possible mate for them.Be the best.Try to come up to all expectations.All of you are intelligent to understand what i mean.Convert hurdles into stairs.

Have pride in your choice.

An arranged love marriage is the best possible marriage.Pomp,show,happiness and most importantly satisfaction.As customers,we don't buy articles or products,we buy satisfaction.So why not achieve satisfaction.Satisfied kinsmen on either sides will be more pleasurable than cops hunting for you.

Remember marriage is a social function,it should not be conducted at the court!!!

Love Aaj Kal....is this love???

LOVE has a big meaning.It does mean responsibility of some one's heart on you.An eternal promise...Crap crap crap.Don't i sound old?

I know that these things are not relevant in today's context.So lets get practical.We are today's Generation.The new millennium lovers.We are intellectual heart lenders,not emotional fools.Right?We don't want to be remembered as all time favourites.We have so much to manage,and so less time.So much that Pizzas,Credit cards,traffic,Http,social network,college,work,family,and every other small thing makes our life so busy and so involved that we hardly get time for love.Every one is aware of live-in,Who cares about tears and smile?Who sheds tears now-a-days,anyways?

Today,Love has just become a pact.An agreement.You are my boyfriend,You are supposed to do this, take me for dinner,call me,text me,add "luv u baby" at the end of every sentence,buy me the latest outfit etc.You are my girlfriend;you gotta understand i am busy,I am at work,I don't have time...The most common complaint from either sides..."U don't understand". It has become the catch phrase of the generation,I tell you...

The influence of western culture is a setback to the stability of modern day relationships.Partners are swapped as fast as ATM cards.One doesn't understand that if she/he couldn't be his/hers,how can she/he be mine?I love her today,Another one tomorrow,I am single the next day and i like another one the day after.Is this Love???The most important feature of love is commitment.If i have committed to someone,I have to fulfil it at any cost.Who thinks this way these days?

Why do you love the one you love?If you have an answer,you probably need to rethink.Don't involve your intellect in reasoning out things in every sphere.The problem of varied permutations and combinations of mates is due to this "intellectual" thinking.The time we start comparing our mates to others,we are at a loss.No one in the world is the ultimate person.Like the best boy/girl in the world.So why compare when we have the best with us.I give you a tip.The one you love should be beyond comparison for you.Never compare your love to anyone else.

Today love is limited to Cybercafes,Parks,restaurants,pubs and hotel Rooms(!)...and the heart..It still is empty.It needs time to think.Today one looks at the wallet of the potential mate before committing,so is that love?Gone are the days when one smile was all that did the trick.The magic.Never judge your partner on these basis.Follow your heart.Maybe you'll make a mistake,But you won't regret!Love shouldn't be treated as an opportunity of physical intimacy or monetary gain.Rather understanding your mate.Giving him/her one good reason to feel good.To feel that They are the one for you.That they are loved.That they are important to you.Tax returns may require an urgent action,a hug for your sad and distressed partner is emergency.

Oh I have a girlfriend.How manly does one boast of having a girlfriend.Is this necessary?You should share some things with your friends,but is it necessary to show it off by talking all personal stuff sitting in a group?Keep your love personal.One shouldn't use one's partner as a status symbol.

Love is a delicacy of feelings,a mosaic of sentiments.Feel the love.Be a fool.Dance in the rain,call without a reason,sing madly,laugh uncontrollably,gift silly things,write strange ballads,plan surprises,cry with your "one",hold the hand,lean in,look into the eyes and say "I love you.I really do".