Santa came that night

Note : The events mentioned in the story are true, with names changed to protect privacy.

Giselle believed in Santa Claus since she was a child. She pictured that she would, someday, fall in love with someone like Santa. Every Christmas morning she woke up excitedly to see if Santa had given her some gift or not. But, she was disappointed every single time. Nevertheless, her belief was staunch. She grew up to be a very beautiful girl. Beautiful doesn’t mean she looked like an actress, she was definitely above average. She had silky hairs; big, brown, mischievous eyes; a cute nose and a really tangy figure.

She fell in love with several guys, but all of them eventually broke her heart and left her. Still she kept on falling in love. After she lost faith in both love and Santa, she was married off on her parents wish to Micheal, one of the richest businessmen in town. Micheal was the kind of guy you would have tortured the most in school. Micheal never ever talked to any girl at the church or school; forget random ones. Now as you might have figured it out Micheal was the idiot-dumb-inexperienced guy to realize his wife’s ‘needs’.

He loved his wife for sure, but his way of expressing his love was too very dumb for Giselle. He occasionally took her for dinner at expensive five star restaurants; he took her to boring Jazz parties, bought her designer dress and did those not-so-cute but expensive things for her. However, he had never gathered enough courage in his marriage of six months to come romantically close to her. He just had kissed her on the cheeks once or twice.

Once when Giselle was out, he checked her personal diary. She had written about Santa. He decided that he would become Santa and surprise his wife on Christmas. He did not tell his wife about her diary. He knew his wife would give him his love.

On Christmas night when his wife was asleep, Micheal dressed himself as Santa. He looked cute. He moved  with a bag full of gifts, towards the bed his wife was sleeping. Slowly and steadily his heart pumped more blood into his arteries. He kept on moving towards her. Suddenly Giselle woke up with a start and screamed in happiness (or maybe fear). Her Santa fell on the floor. Dead.

To know what happened next:

You may watch C.I.D “two-hours-Christmas-special” on Sony at 9PM. Repeat at most times of the day.

Also, additional focus on this case by INDIA TV. Special One hour show with leading Psychiatrist and Police Commissioner of Noida region Live.

Its New Year time friends. Be happy! Spread smiles! :)

Sunny Days

            Today, I would like to share the inspiring true tale of my dearest friend Sunny. You all probably know Sunny by now. Sunny is a household name now. Sunny was born in Punjab, to a Punjabi father and grew up watching Bollywood films, eating sarso-da-saag and makki-di-roti. Like every other person in India, Amitabh Bachchan had always been Sunny’s inspiration. Sunny wanted to be a famous actor. Wanting to do roles that were closer to life was Sunny’s desire.

            Like any Punjabi, Kanedda, i.e. Canada was Sunny’s first love, Punjab being the zeroth. (if you understand what that actually means). When Sunny went to Canada, a realisation dawned. No career in acting can be made without a perfect body. Sunny trained with several different trainers to get a perfect body like that of now. The one like we see in Biology books. And, Sunny was good looking. Getting directors in Canada was not at all difficult.

            This very few people know that Sunny acted in many Canadian films and won much appreciation. Soon Sunny was in the list of top 10 actors in the genre. Being experimental, Sunny tried a genre that was specially meant and designed for the body that was acquired with much practise and training. People would sigh when Sunny would scream on the screen. When they would show Sunny crushing someone between the thighs, people would cheer and whistle. Believe me, the Canadians whistled in English. When Sunny moaned in pain, people sympathised. People clapped when Sunny tore the shirt away from a muscular body.

            Sunny earned the tag of a superstar from the first film itself. The acting being so realistic that it would stir the viewers, however, young or old he would be. Sunny’s dialogues were the most popular ones. Maybe Salman Khan at one time even envied Sunny. (Don’t tell anyone that Salman can’t act). Finally Sunny got a chance to act in India.

            Sunny couldn’t ask for a better debut.

            Since then Sunny Leone, an Indo-Canadian Pornstar has been the showstopper of some cheap Indian TV show, Big Boss and continues to inspire us.

P.S. Please search “Sunny Leone” on Google for better understanding of the person.

In love with you

So, don’t tell anyone, for this is a well kept secret between me and (few of) my 700+ FaceBook friends that when I am not doing anything, I have a business of creating Fake profiles for celebrities. Believe me, they are too busy to create a profile, so I do it for them and they buy it at nominal prices ranging from above 50 grands to 99 grands.

One fine day, some stranger SMSed on my cell “In love with this cricketer, so need a profile”. I got one profile ready for him/her. He/she told me to leave the sex column and profile picture unfilled; that increased me curiosity. I thought he/she was probably a HE, and was gay, and shy. However, my client paid me One Crore by cash on delivery. Due to utter curiosity, I started tracking the profile.

On the very first day, the Sex was mentioned Female, and the profile picture was a very attractive, glossy and juicy pair of lips.

Just for my knowledge I once asked my client who the cricketer was, he/she gave me the details. He was one of the Indian fast bowlers. Some Patel. Now experts said he had the bowling accuracy similar to that of Australian legend Glenn McGrath. I checked upon him. The experts were right. He was the future of fast bowling in India. My client paid me five lakhs for this secret.

Now he had created his profile a few days back, and it was not at all difficult to recognise it was his original profile because he had only a few friends and poor English. His info said his favourite singer was some Himesh. Anyways, now this bowler hadn’t been much into love and relationships and never dated a girl before.

He hadn’t in his wildest of dreams expected a friend request from someone who had a really hot pair of lips. He was hesitant at first but accepted the request. Chats began and continued. He skipped the training sessions and the media said he was suffering from injuries. However our bowler was falling in love with the diva. He would call her princess, Angel etc like age old lovers (I told you he had no experience). She insisted that he should call her ‘Darling’ instead because she found it hot and seductive.

In a few months he had so much fallen in love with her that he couldn’t help fantasising about her in the field. During the matches he would recall the chats and smile to himself. Even the camera caught him doing so. He had a poor performance during the Australian tour. He had never been a good fielder, so he continued his poor performance. And, finally got dropped.

But, he was happy. He was in love. Definitely.

They decided to meet at CCD in Juhu.

She told she would be wearing an off-shoulder top and even told what else she would be wearing. May be she was desperate to have him, or maybe she also had fallen in true love. He replied he would be meeting her.

I don’t know what happened after the date. My client never responded to me. Neither did the chats continued.

After a few days, I heard someone called “BOBBY DARLING” claimed having an affair with some Munaaf Patel in the media.

Anything Else?

              He believes “Everything is uncomfortable for the first time: School, Smoking or Sex”. Like any undecided, impatient and impulsive teenager, he has fun, friends, Facebook and an eventful life. His life follows Murphy’s law: Anything that can go wrong, goes wrong. His life is enviable because he is happy with his life, satisfied. His social circle is large enough to make his cell phone chime all the day.

            She is the simple-stupid-silly-romantic girl. The flamboyant diva. The girl who believes in him and loves him unconditionally.

            Meet Sashwat and Swadha, the hottest couple in the school.  Their story is one of the most entertaining High school love stories.

Welcome to his world full of booze, bikes, babes, tea stalls, accidents, street fights, first-day-first-show-movies and unconditional love. Witness him rediscover himself and his true love.

How does Sashwat's life take an ugly turn? Does he fall, collide or escape the accident? En route all events, Sashwat loses Swadha. For good. Does he get her back or a cruel end awaits them?

An excessively humorous joyride of small town hostel life, passionate, youthful teenage: success, failure, trials and unseen facets of the high school life. Take the ride. But always wear a helmet ;-)

         

Time to think!

We come across many innocent faces like these in our real life, the next to door, basic faces that do not lag behind in our thoughts. They walk by unnoticed. Their eyes do not brim with obvious childish spark like ours; their eyes search for someone....a somebody that means everthing to them. Maybe annadata (food-giver), dhanadata(wealth-giver) or pranadata(life-giver). So while our leaders are busy stocking more and more banknotes, and all are busy with themselves, do we have enough time for doing something to contribute to keep that hope alive and to bring them a little spark; maynot be like the bright sun, just a star like spark,maybe. Do I need to say more?

Time to think!
Big time!
Love.

Sociophilia:The Networking Fever

It is not our fault, It never was. We are addicted to relationships. Be it platonic,romantic,family-bound or anything else. We are social creatures. And its the age of Finger work. Everything except ego and jealousy is bringing us closer to people, I think. So are the social networking sites. We may forget what day it is, we never forget to check if we have any new notification. We may forget to greet our parents,we never forget to update good wishes four times a day.

No probs. That's possibly what we call network socialisation. Facebook, Twitter, Orkut, Fropper etc, few social networking sites that have assumed a pivotal place in the daily routine of younger generation. The wannabe big generation.Anyways, what the social network culture is doing, positively, is: it is reducing the gap. Bridging all possible rivers between long lost brothers. I assume many, like me,have found old schoolmates on social networking sites. Maybe you have developed good friendships with dozens of strangers. maybe you have found love-mates.

What the networking trend is encouraging is fraudism.Very few of us give their authentic details on these sites.Most of fraudulent activities take place on these sites. We hear how someone allured an innocent girl into marriage with seemingly dashing looks and NRI background. Or maybe some exceedingly charming tall and dark stranger becomes the darkest truth of your life.

They trick. They flirt. They play. They cheat. You loose.

On professional levels, defaming, rumours, brand value depletion and so on are common problems attributed to social networking.

Students are undoubtedly wasting their valuable time on networking sites. When I get bored in the classroom, the prof is boring,the neighbourhood girl is picking her nose, becomes my status and I await few comments. When i power on my Laptop, I sign in to check how many are online. I get bored in a train, I update my status. I have just proposed someone, I need to tell that to the world! I post numerous pictures of myself, eagerly awaiting for the comments.Its exams, I haven't studied a single thing and I am more interested to make others panic.

We need a cure, from this addiction.

Ten days to cure yourself:
1.Check all notifications and reply to them as if you don't care.
2.Remove all your photos with disgusting comments.
3.Try to utilise the free SMS of your cellphone.
4.Don't add unknown people,unfriend strangers.
5.However boring the lecture be, try to concentrate on attractive(!) neighbours.
6.Take a nap in the train.
7.Set ur online status always as "busy".
8.You have a bike, a bat, a badmintn raquet, a television, novels.....oops you have books too!
9.Set your status at "Bye", and deactivate the account.
10.Create a new account, I know my tips havent worked and you feel guilty.Wait for the administrator to remove the site.

By the way, just before dying, tell the people you are dead in few moments!

Are you a fresher?

I hated the Nagin tune.

I stood with much fear in my heart at the bus stop back from the first day at college.Heartbeat 90.The bus seemed to tease me.It was late than usual.I looked around to spot any "Hunter".None of them were visible,moreover i didn't recognise many.Heartbeat 80.Suddenly a voice "Hey first year".I turned to look at a short,fat and wheatish-skinned lad.Looked like someone who had been recently beaten by his dad for drinking vodka.Heartbeat 120.

I looked at him."Sir?!!!" i said with half fear and half anticipation of what impending danger may land.

"Waiting for the bus".Heartbeat 125.

"Ya.." i said. I couldn't say i was there for staring at Bengali girls(!).Thank god,i could sight the bus now. I tried to ignore the senior.

The bus would wait for three full minutes.

"OK go..." he said in an unexpectedly humble tone.All seniors aren't hunters,i thought to myself.

I went towards the bus,the heartbeat at 95.

"Hey first year.."he shouted from behind.

"Third button you rascal." I obeyed his order instantly.Later i learned he was a "professor".That's what we are supposed to call third years.The 4th years are Principals,by the way.

"Get on the bus with the nagin dance."

I was like What the fish.

I looked at the people on the bus and on the stop.As if all of them expecting a Live (!) performance.They looked with lusty eyes.

I thought for a second.Yaar,kaun sa apna chacha dekh raha hai.bindass kar,I thought.

And then.I started the Nagin dance into the bus.Few laughed,Few squeaked,Few rethought on their decision to send their wards to engineering colleges.I didn't care.I danced and danced till the bus started.My first live dance performance.At least I provided free amusement to many.Later I also did cabaret,Pole dance in the basketball court,Sang "Bolo e kaun fashion dikhawa taru ho,dhake wala cheez jhalkawa taru ho",proposed to an unknown senior,did the 90 salute etc etc....

Friends,ragging period may be testing,But it is enjoyable,if taken with the right attitude and frame of mind.

I agree ragging activities have a negative impact,but that depends on the case as it might be.Ragging acts are not to be taken to your self respect.Take a chill pill.Be yourself.Anyways,How many of us are afraid of ragging?All of us are,to some or more extent.Face the fear.

Its perfectly okay to sing or dance in front of few seniors,You aren't auditioning for Indian idol or Dance India Dance.And in most of the cases few will ask you to propose someone;Do it,with passion,who knows you might have a chance.

I have seen guys do stranger things...Boys were instructed to proclaim that they were gays!!!They did that.Its not going to interfere with your future life anyways.You are just out of school,just enjoy the new environment.Come closer to your seniors,not in other ways!!!

If you take it easy,ragging period will be the best.Its perfectly all right to bend a little.

Girls seem to be even more nervous.Most of the times they are told to wear simple dress and oil their hair,tie two plaits,I do not find anything humiliating in this.Its okay.Formal dress for boys,short cropped hair,eyes on third button.Its okay.Enjoyable!!!

Ragging may be treated as a necessary evil.Excess of everything is bad.So is excess of ragging.Fun for one can't become "Mental rape" for other.When they are over the top complain to the necessary authorities.

Some tips:
1.Don't be afraid.The senior that you are facing isn't the ugliest.There are more to come.
2.Try to be ragged by girls,they have an eye on junior boys!!
3.The Profs are of no help.Don't try them.Moreover,they face ragging all their life.
4.Don't agree on sexual ragging,also don't get addicted to drugs or other such things.
5.Buy a pair of formal clothes.It will help.
6.Help a gal in during these times.
7.Be confident,you can do a bit of ragging with seniors too.
8.Girls,don't shed tears now,save some for your marriage.
9.Learn the basics of bunking,and find ways to go to the nearest theatre,park,restaurant...
10.Propose your crush,if they say no,say "Senior ,you see."If they say yes, follow tip 9.

So enjoy the beginning of the best possible days in your lives.

By the way,I love the nagin tune now.Maybe, I will make you all dance to it in my marriage.

Match Fixed:Arrange my Love!!!

I assume that you have fallen,or will fall in love after reading my previous article,and you are kinda desperate to get your "one" in your life.So you want to marry him/her,probably in the nearest possible future.Now you look into the present Indian society and you see plenty of hurdles in your track,jump over them or take a short cut????

To elope is easy,to convince everyone is difficult.Human tendency:take it easy.Because the problems are too many:different caste,different religion,fussy relatives,earning is less,etc etc.So elope...

Why elope?Why stand against every one when you can stand with them?

When you fell in love with some one,you found them the best.So why do you hesitate to make your own family realise that the one you love is the best for you?That you can be merry with only that "one".That a known ass is better than an unknown horse.C'Mon.Think over it.

Have faith on yourself.That you can have everyone on board.For a moment think about your parents.They have brought you up with so many tribulations,giving you more than all you need,providing you with all small happiness,so why will they deny you of the biggest happiness for you???If they don't understand,make them understand.Tell them "we could have run away,but we didn't only because i am not wrong".Don't be afraid,to tell them of your love.Fear is when you are wrong.

You are an epitome of respect for your parents,preserve it with care.Do not let your acts let them down.

Take time.Wait for the right time.Be patient.Do not hurry.Most importantly don't impose your choice.Instead of informing them,ask them.It will take time.But before that make yourself worthy of convincing.Any parent wants that their child gets the best possible mate for them.Be the best.Try to come up to all expectations.All of you are intelligent to understand what i mean.Convert hurdles into stairs.

Have pride in your choice.

An arranged love marriage is the best possible marriage.Pomp,show,happiness and most importantly satisfaction.As customers,we don't buy articles or products,we buy satisfaction.So why not achieve satisfaction.Satisfied kinsmen on either sides will be more pleasurable than cops hunting for you.

Remember marriage is a social function,it should not be conducted at the court!!!

Love Aaj Kal....is this love???

LOVE has a big meaning.It does mean responsibility of some one's heart on you.An eternal promise...Crap crap crap.Don't i sound old?

I know that these things are not relevant in today's context.So lets get practical.We are today's Generation.The new millennium lovers.We are intellectual heart lenders,not emotional fools.Right?We don't want to be remembered as all time favourites.We have so much to manage,and so less time.So much that Pizzas,Credit cards,traffic,Http,social network,college,work,family,and every other small thing makes our life so busy and so involved that we hardly get time for love.Every one is aware of live-in,Who cares about tears and smile?Who sheds tears now-a-days,anyways?

Today,Love has just become a pact.An agreement.You are my boyfriend,You are supposed to do this, take me for dinner,call me,text me,add "luv u baby" at the end of every sentence,buy me the latest outfit etc.You are my girlfriend;you gotta understand i am busy,I am at work,I don't have time...The most common complaint from either sides..."U don't understand". It has become the catch phrase of the generation,I tell you...

The influence of western culture is a setback to the stability of modern day relationships.Partners are swapped as fast as ATM cards.One doesn't understand that if she/he couldn't be his/hers,how can she/he be mine?I love her today,Another one tomorrow,I am single the next day and i like another one the day after.Is this Love???The most important feature of love is commitment.If i have committed to someone,I have to fulfil it at any cost.Who thinks this way these days?

Why do you love the one you love?If you have an answer,you probably need to rethink.Don't involve your intellect in reasoning out things in every sphere.The problem of varied permutations and combinations of mates is due to this "intellectual" thinking.The time we start comparing our mates to others,we are at a loss.No one in the world is the ultimate person.Like the best boy/girl in the world.So why compare when we have the best with us.I give you a tip.The one you love should be beyond comparison for you.Never compare your love to anyone else.

Today love is limited to Cybercafes,Parks,restaurants,pubs and hotel Rooms(!)...and the heart..It still is empty.It needs time to think.Today one looks at the wallet of the potential mate before committing,so is that love?Gone are the days when one smile was all that did the trick.The magic.Never judge your partner on these basis.Follow your heart.Maybe you'll make a mistake,But you won't regret!Love shouldn't be treated as an opportunity of physical intimacy or monetary gain.Rather understanding your mate.Giving him/her one good reason to feel good.To feel that They are the one for you.That they are loved.That they are important to you.Tax returns may require an urgent action,a hug for your sad and distressed partner is emergency.

Oh I have a girlfriend.How manly does one boast of having a girlfriend.Is this necessary?You should share some things with your friends,but is it necessary to show it off by talking all personal stuff sitting in a group?Keep your love personal.One shouldn't use one's partner as a status symbol.

Love is a delicacy of feelings,a mosaic of sentiments.Feel the love.Be a fool.Dance in the rain,call without a reason,sing madly,laugh uncontrollably,gift silly things,write strange ballads,plan surprises,cry with your "one",hold the hand,lean in,look into the eyes and say "I love you.I really do".